Birth Mother FAQ

Q: Should I consider adoption?
A: Adoption is a strictly personal decision that you should make based on your own circumstances. In making the decision, you should consult with family, friends and professionals that you trust, but only you can make the final decision.


Q: What should I consider when making my decision?
A: Several things are important to take into consideration. First, consider all the things going on in your life such as social and personal relationships, your financial situation, any health issues and the timing of your decision. Second, will keeping the baby complicate your life, your other children’s lives (if applicable) or, in the long term, the baby’s life? Third, are you ready to be a parent at this point of your life? Finally, and perhaps most importantly, what would be best for you and your baby? If there would be any way to hold your world together and keep your baby, then you should definitely keep your baby. However, if placing your baby for adoption is the best option for you and your baby, then Adoption Legal Services can help you find a loving, caring family to adopt your child.


Q: What if I’m not sure that I want to place my baby for adoption?
A: You should investigate the adoption process. Be open and honest about your feelings when discussing adoption with friends or family. Keep in mind, however, that as you learn more about adoption and the adoption process, the support services, the adopting parents and the long-term welfare of your baby the right decision will become more apparent. Whether you decide to keep your baby or place your baby with a family, the ultimate decision will be easier to make when you are informed.


Q: What if I’m still not sure?
A: I would recommend that you tell your adoption service that you are not ready at this time and you should withdraw from the process until you are comfortable with your decision. Remember, once you commit to a couple, it is devastating to them and to you if you change your mind.


Q: Can I ask the adoptive parents for money to pay for things I need?
A: In many states the adoptive parents are legally allowed to pay for only the birthmother’s medical expenses and legal fees. In other states they may also pay the birthmother’s housing and pregnancy-related expenses, such as maternity clothes. None of the states allow the adoptive parents to pay for the birthmother’s college tuition, vocational training, or a vacation, or to give the birthmother any type of financial reward or anything of value that would appear to be payment for the baby the birthmother is allowing them to adopt. A detailed accounting of all expenditures that the adoptive parents have had in connection with the adoption must be presented to the court that oversees the adoption.